Absolutely Nothing...

So I wrote you this song
I hope that you like it
Cause you light up my life
And I know you can fight this
You’re the most beautiful girl in the world
And I wanted you to know…

Hah. You haven’t changed one bit. Haven’t grown up at all. You’re still an immature whore with no respect. No one gives a fuck who you’re screwing over this time. He’s a shit friend and possibly the biggest imbecile I’ve had the misfortune of meeting. Get fucking OVER yourself. There’s a reason no one gives a legitimate fuck about you. A reason why your “friends” left you. A reason why you make me so fucking SICK. Gtfo of my life. I’m so happy without you and your bullshit drama. I’ve found someone meaningful, someone honest and caring. Everything you aren’t. So take your false words somewhere else. I’m DONE with you.

Purple: 10 facts about my room

Blue: 9 facts about my family.

Green: 8 facts about my body

Yellow: 7 facts about my childhood

Orange: 6 facts about my home town.

Red: 5 facts about my bestfriend(s)

Pink: 4 facts about my parents.

White: 3 facts about my personality.

Grey: 2 facts about my favorite things

Black: 1 fact about the person I like

I really wish my friends weren’t so uncaring. I hate being ignored and put aside. If they don’t want to talk to me they should say so. Instead of never responding to texts or messages. I’m just glad I have a few real friends who have made this summer a great one. Hopefully things look up. I just wish people would say things to my face, doing the contrary is immature and makes that person a shit friend…

What the fuck? You’ve missed the issue completely. Fucking COMPLETELY. It hurts to know you think so shallowly and simple. Can you not see beyond the physical? Seriously? I’m fat. I know. I’ve been aware of that for a while now. I accept it. I have issues in  my life that seem much more important to me than that. Yet you’re going to stand there and tell me you and the rest accept and love me? That I’m the one who needs to accept myself? What bullshit is that?  None of you accept me, obviously. Otherwise you’d see there’s something wrong OTHER than me being fat…

I like the way you think

I like your laugh

I like the random noises you make

I like your nose, it’s cute!

I like that we can talk about anything

I like that we can talk for hours on end

I like the way you make me feel

I like how easy it is for you to put a smile on my face

I like how happy I get when I think of you

I like your smile

I like your hugs

I like your eyes

I like how you play with your spit in your mouth :p

I like that you undrstand

I like our random silence

I like the silly things you say

I like the way you look

I like the way you talk

I like the music you like

I like the serious discussions we have

I like the funny discussions we have

I like knowing you care

But most of all, I like you…

And thanks to you, that may be possible…

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows pt.2 in an hour and forty minutes. I’m not going to lie, I’m pretty sad. But I’m excited as well. To be honest, after I watch this film, I seriously think I could die without a problem. Sure, I’d have regrets, but this is a once in a lifetime thing, and a lifetime without purpose is meaningless…

Fuck. My life is such a sad waste. I go on day by fucking day trying to make a change or something. Just do something meaningful. But nothing. I’m pissed. I’m sad. I’m confused. I’m stressed. I’m lonely. Forsaken. But that’s not the best part. The awesome part of all of this is the people in my life. A hypocritical ex who used me and won’t gtfo of my life. Friend’s who don’t give a fuck about me and enjoy putting me down. Constantly letting me down. A family who for some reason thinks I’m a failure or a clone of my fucking father. Nothing I do is good enough for them. Can’t make them proud. Always a disgrace. My grades blow. And best of all, yeah, better than all of that, is this girl. The most adorable, intelligent, good humored, understanding and unique girl I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting. She’s everything I want and more. I like her so much, but I’m nothing. I’m not even close to being good enough for her. She’s so out of my league that I’m surprised she talks to me. She’s one of the only people who I think honestly cares. But who am I? A fucking nobody with nothing to offer. I’m just going to end up hurting myself by trying, but oh well. I just can’t wait to leave this place. Find people who care. Leave my family. Maybe meet a girl I can actually have a chance with. Ugh. Maybe one day things will look up. Until the, I’ll just keep getting back up…

Having a good night, and having it ruined with tears:

The feeling like you’re all alone, like you’re lost :

Having to look at the face of the person you love, knowing they won’t love you:

When someone tells you they don’t feel the same:

Crying so much you cry yourself to sleep:

The feeling of anger twards yourself:

The feeling of being forgot, unwanted, not good enough:

I will never understand it,
It still hurts to think about it.
Take these walls away from me,
And let me leave this place,
So I can finally be sane.
You were all my anything and everything could be,
But just the very thought of you makes me feel unclean.
I hate how easy it is for you to completely sicken me.
You’re always there in the back of my mind,
Your words still cut their way into my head.
Why won’t this loathing feeling just leave me alone?
I’m sick of seeing your face in all my dreams.
Filth, pain, and disgust fill my head.
If I could only just erase you from my memory

It really bothers me how uncaring my “friends” are. Some of them are dicks and think it’s so fucking amusing to screw with me. It really bothers me that I can’t count on them or look to them for consolance when I really need it. I wish I had more friends like Quinten, alliegatirr and alyssablair. They’re the only people I can honestly say care about me as much as I care for them…

You know why? It’s cause they’re sick of people walking all over them. They’re too nice to even stand up for themselves when someone insults them and all that shit. They’re called a ‘push over’ and when they’re tired of all that crap, they change, they start to stand up for themselves, they start to not take shit from anyone. Then they get called a ‘bitch.’ They’re not bitches for standing up for themselves.